The Lecture Musical
by Aelis Aisling
Summary: Ginny Weasley decides to protest Prof. Umbridge's teachings. Year 5 Rated T because I'm probably overreacting to a single word.


The complete and utter silence of the Defense Against the Dark Arts class was finally broken by the frog-faced Professor Umbridge.

"Are there any questions?"

Ginny whispered something into the ear of her neighbor, Luna Lovegood, before jumping to her feet. "Hey, Professor, I've got a question!"

"Yes, Miss Weasley?" Professor Umbridge asked sweetly.

"What I mean is," Ginny said, spreading her hands out, palm up, in a questioning gesture. Beside her, Luna surreptitiously cast a silencing spell on the professor. "It's just–" Here, she began to sing. "We come to class, everyday it seems, we all fall asleep, we've lost all our dreams, There is no inspiration." Slowly, she began threading her way between the desks, spreading her message, addressing all of her classmates. "But when did we become this way? So disillusioned, so blasé? I can make the calculations." She turned to the student before her and reached out her hand. "Can I borrow a quill and some ink?" Her head snapped forward, addressing the professor, who seemed to be trying to say something. "Hey teach!" Now she made her way forward. "Have you thought for a while about the impact that you have on us?" Her next step was heavier, punctuating her next word: "Teach! I think it's high time that you tried–" By now, she was only steps away from Umbridge. She extended one hand as she continued forward. "–to extend your learning arm to us–" Instead of touching the professor, who seemed ready to hex Ginny into the next century, her arm swept around, back towards the class, and upward in a triumphant fist. "–and reach! Are you with me classmates?"

The only person to respond to her earnest appeal was Luna, with her usual dreamy voice: "Okay."

Ginny only held out for a moment longer before pointing straight at Colin Creevy and making her way over to him. "What about that guy over there?" At this point, she addressed Colin directly. "Why aren't you taking notes? Don't you even care? This is your education." He looked distinctly uncomfortable and she moved on, putting her hands on either side of one of her roommate's head. "This girl sitting over here, she talks a lot in class but her thoughts are never quite clear. So much mental masturbation." As this newest participant looked scandalized, Ginny removed her hands and opened up her arms again in that questioning gesture, again addressing the entire class. "Hey _teach_." Her gait became less purposeful, her stance relaxed, as though now she was merely wandering around the room wistfully. "All of the professors on chocolate frog cards, like Nicholas Flemel, would risk their very professions for that chance to be inspirations, to kids like me-ee!" She spun through the duration of that last word, arms going out again. Once she had gone full circle twice, she seemed to regain purpose. "Hey teach!" Her attention went back to Umbridge and she stood near the back of the center aisle. Off to one side, Luna stood up dramatically, pointing at Ginny, then closed her hand into a fist, as though showing a passion for this cause. She, too, made her way to the center aisle. "It's no wonder why we're here. You must think we only party and drink butter beer. But all we need is just one chance, to be treated as your equals–" She slowly made her way forward, trailed by Luna, who just looked to either side, almost as though surprised to see other students. Ginny's voice rose at this point, going up through several octaves with each word, finally settling at a falsetto. "–and to dance!" Due to her higher voice, the next words were quite hard to make out, but they sounded like: "For the trajectory of me, the fundamental jogger lead I need! And it's high time you tried to extend your–" Abruptly, she went back to her normal pitch. Again she reached forward, though she was still standing between desks, and this time, Luna was there to join her. "–learning arm and reach!" Both girls struck a pose, each turning about 45 degrees to address their classmates as well. "Teach!"

They both waited for a moment, as though expecting applause, but everyone was frozen, wondering what horrible punishment would befall them. Ginny dashed over to her desk, grabbing her things as well as Luna's, and pulled out a book. As she joined Luna to leave the room, she opened the book to a random page and pointed. "Disarming Charms! Disarming Charms, look!"

Behind them, Professor Umbridge was pantomiming her outrage, trying to call the girls back.

* * *

That evening, the trio were beginning to wrap up their homework for the night as Ginny came through the portrait hole. A few people looked up, mildly curious, but then went back to their own work. The bloody bandage covering the back of her hand wasn't a surprise to anyone, though Ron seemed surprised to see his sister with it.

"Oy, Ginny!" Ron called.

Ginny redirected her steps to come over.

"What'd you get?"

"'I must not break into song during class,'" she replied with a devious grin.

Ron seemed about to say something, then shook his head. "I don't even want to know."

* * *

_Author's note: I've had this in the works for a while now, and it's finally finished. Thank you to the good people at Prangstgrup for the excellent musical, which I used here. I do suggest watching the video as well as some of their other work. If you can make out the falsetto better than I can, and have it make sense, please drop a message!_


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